The Ben Heine Project
The Inspiration
The pictures above were taken from Ben Heine's 'Pencil vs. Camera' project. I particularly took a liking to those images because to me it appeared as if there was another universe unseen, only visible through the paper. I really liked that idea, of a parrallel universe so I took that into mind when capturing pictures to use in recreating the same style of images.
The Photographs
For the photos, I had my little sister help me out by being a model. These are the four images that I enjoyed the most and had the most interesting perspective out of the many images that I forced her to take with me. We stood outside in our backyard and used the elements, the time of year, and the time of day to our advantage. While the sun is going down, it is almost like a transitional period for the world and I liked the idea of that transition being used in my images. So I captured many with the intent on making them appear as if the paper was a portal into another universe entirely.
The Sketches
Sketching soon became the most time comsuming as I wasn't really sure what direction I wanted to bring this whole project towards. The sketches above where all done on transfer paper place ontop of a printed version of the photos. While I was sketching I soon realized that I wanted to bring a bigger meaning to my images. I wanted to show how it feels to be depressed. Having had first hand experience with the feelings, I put all of that pent up emotion into these drawings to show how it felt. A lot of the times it just feels like you're dead inside. Trap in a way. It feels like you're constantly trapped and your mind is always on that what if factor. I really wanted to show how it felt to be trapped and afraid of your own mind.
The Finals
I decided on a select few of the sketches to bring to life from paper. I chose the ones I felt held the most emotional meaning and contreversial aspects. I've always felt as if depression, suicide, and any mental illness was taboo and something that had to be kept on the low down. But mental illness can't be seen as that, not when people everywhere are contimplating their own life. These images hold a special meaning even though at first glance they just look like creepy drawings. They are of the upmost importance that I get that message across. The message these images are supposed to hold.
The Message
Feeling alone and cold and numb all the time. It isn't normal. Wanting to die second your alive. It isn't normal. Wanting to cry every single time you laugh. It isn't normal. Hurting when people touch you. It isn't normal.
None of this is normal.
These feelings aren't normal. But it's okay. It's okay to feel cold and numb sometimes. It's okay to break down and cry your heart you and spill your worries to a stranger every once and a while. Everyone has a breaking point. It's normal to reach that breaking point.
But not dealing with this isn't an option.
The feelings of loneliness feels inviting and it's someting you know and feel comfortable with but trust me on this when I say that there is a warmer feelings that the slow dull numb feelings of constant isolation. It's the feeling of being hugged by someone you love. Or being understood by someone you love. Or being told that you are loved by someone you love.
There is always someone out there. Talk to someone, they are always willing to listen.
SUICIDE PREVENTION LINE (USA): 1 (800) 273 - 8255
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